Wednesday, March 23, 2016

She Wants/He Wants: Body twists, turns, and other unbendables

Him:

Sexy showers equals bathroom wall repairs and strange emergency room visits.

SHIT! My back…can’t hold. No, I’m not calling you fat and for the record that guy’s a mutant. She’s faking it, it’s a movie. Well…it’s this scene she’s faking. Oops, sorry – uhm, you can have the heating pad first.

It can be broken? How? Ouch!!! You didn’t have to show me; you could have just told me. All right, already, you won’t bounce and I’ll stop…but you liked that other thing I copied from the movie. All right, already!


Her:

Wrong entrance, move. NOW! No, not there again. MOVE AWAY. What do you mean, you can’t see? Are you calling me…?

Stop! I’m not some bloody gymnast doing the splits. Nor do I want to explain why I have a black eye, put my knees down.

How the hell am I supposed to breathe like this?


Them:

Charlie Horse! Charlie Horse!

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