Friday, September 25, 2015

Friday Frolics: Sept. 25 2015 - HOT writing, so little respect

Fabulous Friday has arrived.

Hopefully, it's been fabulous. That's one of the strange things about writing a blog posting before its publication're guessing about the future.

Today, we're visiting the you think...why do you think...this genre, erotic/erotica, gets to little respect?

We're a little quiet today, Friday Frolics is a new habit for us all, but we're here and open to your input as well.

I think the romance and erotica genres are looked down upon a bit by both other authors and by publishing houses in general because of a perception that it isn't "real" writing. Romance books used to be a lot like daytime soap operas in the 70's and 80's: perfect people falling in love after solving a non-realistic problem. A lot of erotica was badly written and completely unrealistic in both situations and positions.

Thankfully, now there is more of a demand for flawed characters, and so romance is becoming more identifiable to many people. Stories are more than just the sex, and the sex scenes are way hotter than they used to be. With the current demand for sexy books, I think there is a shift in perception on the acceptability of the genre, especially with the younger generation.

There's the misconception that erotic/erotica is porn. Degrading, act-driven, grunting, whip it out and get it done, and how many times it can get done with how many uses of language in its most vulgar of uses. No one wants to connect to porn. No one wants to be seen or used as it appears in porn.

Erotic/Erotica is not porn.

Are our stories driven by sex? Are our readers looking to read sex scenes? Yes. The difference between erotic/erotica and porn is in the writing. One is written to get you off, bing-bang-boom. The other is written to get you to the place where you get off.

Think foreplay. Think simulation. Think mind-escaping dares you would never bring to your lover in real life, but exploring it through us adds a little spice to your heat.

Why no respect...little respect...gaining respect? People don't want to talk about sex. People want the sex stories covered in paper bags and hidden under the rug, under the bed. Sex is restrictively private and best left in the darkened bedrooms. How dare we write openly about it and about people laughing during it.

If I'm so proud to write erotic/erotica why do I "hide" behind another name? Because I'm respectful of my family. They know my stories...the writing of my stories. And they respect me. They didn't choose to write erotic/erotica, I did. And pretending to be someone else, well, it's kinda fun. Toodaloo.

There's no question that many do not understand the difference between Romance, Erotic Romance, Erotica, and Porn.

Romance may have sensuality but without the behind the doors peek.

Erotic Romance is similar if not equal to Romance but now the reader can step inside the bedroom for some heat.

Erotica is based more on the sex than actual romance.

And Porn...well, that's just 'Let's get naked and dirty' foreplay, frontplay, and any other way you like your 'play'.

This genre, erotic and erotica, didn't get respect once upon a time, but I believe nowadays readers understand these differences and are not shocked to discover a few 'play toys' carefully chosen by two characters within a fictional world. If one buys erotic romance, there should be no surprise as to what they'll discover within the pages.

It's when a reader doesn't understand these differences between genres that the disrespect assaults this label of work.

One may think writing erotic is only the 'Oh yeah, baby, that's right...yeah, right there...OMG!' But a writer still needs to keep a reader within his or her pages by sketching interesting characters, situations, settings...we are writers of fiction whether it's mainstream or not, creative beings that deserve respect for the genre we've chosen to write.

From my personal experience (from family and friends) erotic/erotica is nothing more then sex scenes on paper. According to them no writer/author that wants respect from their peers would stoop that low to write smut. It's nothing more than a script for porn. That was what I was told when I said I wanted to be a author. It's disheartening and discouraging to hear. However, since, I've learned most people don't know the difference (between porn and erotic/erotica) and as with many things in life, fear what they don't know or understand, so demonize it.

The erotic/erotica is given so little respect because it's the bedroom of everyone. There are no doors for privacy. It's the display of intimacy in a way most don't want to acknowledge. Many things in life aren't shared with everyone else...different regions, different religions, different foods and so on...but sexual intimacy is the same across the board around the world. Everywhere. We're sexual beings. Intimacy is what makes us unique. Special. Writing/reading the genre is the same as writing true crime novels or a biography. It's people's reality. Real life.

I understand this genre isn’t for everyone. To be honest, it isn’t always something I want to read – depends on my mood. *smiles*

I might be na├»ve on the “little respect” thing, but I consider marketing / promoting only to those I know appreciate reading a sensual, sexy story. Perhaps the “little respect” comes from readers who don’t read / approve of sexy stories and find it being promoted on inappropriate sites/locations?  You have to admit, there’s some pretty sexy covers out there that might be offensive to those who don’t read the genre (and that doesn’t include the details of the story between the covers).

The market for this genre has opened - most on line book stores carry it, although not all brick and mortar stores give those books store shelf display (and that might be due to the mixed age readers walking through the store checking out some of the hot looking covers). But, those stores usually have online access to purchase Erotic romance / Erotica. 

From what I’ve seen and experienced writing this genre, the market is flooded with great erotic romance – it’s a growing/evolving genre, and the market place is realizing it has a good following of readers.

Thank you for dropping over, we appreciate it. Have a fun weekend and hope to you see next week.

Remember, if you have a question or anything you want us to muse about just drop me a line at

Keep Frolicking


Anonymous said...

Hi Brent - love the "real" writing goes along with Theadora, Liam, and Alix (Hello lovelies...yep you too Liam)'s deep characters enjoying love life and the sensual, sexual moments created from the relationship...real stuff.

Love all of your comments - hugs to all: )

ChrisChat said...

Hey, Kay Dee...glad you stopped by :)