Bonella resurfaces for our 4 Year Anniversary...
BONELLA: So I see you’ve got some hot sausages on the HOT estore.
LEA: Hot sausages?
BONELLA: You know…some nice looking hot di--
LEA: Manners, please.
BONELLA: Oh, for hellssake…this is the HOT blog, right? I’m sure your readers have seen a di--
LEA: Bonella, I won’t warn you again. Have some respect for those reading this blog.
BONELLA: Then why did you make me travel from down under, go through your grimy clean, well, polluted air is fine, but blue skies? I could have stayed in my little cave playing with my new playmate.
LEA: I invited you because you’ve been like a mascot every October to make an appearance but I hoped after four years you’d have picked up some of our human manners.
BONELLA: Yeah? And after four years I would’ve thought that stick up your butt would have been removed.
Lea shakes her head, contemplating deleting this entire anniversary opening.
BONELLA: Stop shaking your head…making me regret agreeing to host your anniversary this month.
Bonella reaches over and grabs the paper from Lea’s hands, and begins reading. Then laughs…hysterically.
BONELLA: No! You want me to read this? Actually read this garbage?
LEA: It’s not garbage.
BONELLA: “Dear readers, everyone at MuseItUp Publishing wants to thank you <GAG, COUGH, CHOKE> for your support these past four years.”
Bonella looks up at Lea.
BONELLA: Can I rewrite this?
Lea eyes her curiously.
LEA: I’d want to read your rewrite before you post it in the blog.
Bonella chokes in her laughter because she realizes Lea must have lost her marbles since they ARE in the blog already.
BONELLA: Yeah, sure, no problem, Lea…yous da boss, right? So, can I have a go at it?
Bonella clears her throat.
BONELLA: Dear fans--
LEA: Oh, I like that.
BONELLA: Don’t interrupt a genius at work. <clears her boney throat> Dear fans, MuseItUp Publishing wants to say how much they appreciate you buying their ebooks, especially now with those hot, mouth watering sausa--
LEA: Oh for Pete’s sake.
Lea grabs the paper.
LEA: Never mind. I’ll do the intro over on the main blog on my own.
BONELLA: Suit yourself.
LEA: So tell me about your new playmate.
BONELLA: He’s a change from the oldies around town. Actually you’d probably drool when you see him. Human as human can be.
LEA: Get outta here.
BONELLA: Cross my heart and hope to die…oh, wait…HAHAHAHA, that won’t work cos I’m dead already. I’ll post some pics…no, you’re still a prude so pics will get me into trouble. I’m sure I have a decent one somewhere.
LEA: What’s his name?
BONELLA: His name is Ricardo, but I call him Di--
Lea quickly covers Bonella’s mouth.
LEA: Oh, this is going to be one long anniversary month.
In the background, as Bonella is being dragged away by security, Lea could hear her yelling out…
BONELLA: It warms the COCKles of my dead heart to be back.
LEA: Go! Just GO!