Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Relationship Subject: Girlfriends…Who are they and how do I get one?

My personal revelation…

I’m not talking about the boyfriend / girlfriend scenario here. I’m talking about one woman friend to another woman friend, the kindred spirit kind, the give-and-take-friendship kind, the touch-the-heart-in-a-place-my-husband/boyfriend-never-touches kind, maybe sum it up as the unconditional loving kind of friendship.

It took me years to actually recognize it.

I was a shy girl after my father left my three sisters and my mom. Being the oldest, I came home from school and took care of my siblings while Mom worked. I didn’t have much of a social life…but for some reason didn’t want much of one either. Fifteen years old was tough if you were categorized as different – and at that time, divorce in a small town made a difference. Parents didn’t want their children coming to a house with five females and no male.

Such crazy times as I look back, but in some ways, crippling too.

I married young (18) and started our family at the same time. Didn’t have time for friends, I was keeping my marriage together and raising our children. I had close sister relationships then, which also could be called my ‘girlfriends’ at that time.

As I grew older something spiritual happened to me…I won’t go into specifics, but it affected a close relationship with one of my sisters. It devastated me, seriously threw me into a very dark time of my life.

This led me to some spiritual research, and I discovered more of myself than I ever knew…like ‘who I am’, the authentic me, the woman who isn’t what everyone wants her to be, or the one who wears this mask for him and another for her. I discovered I could simply be me, genuine, authentic, and true.

And, the new me cared for others, but wasn’t afraid to also care for herself.

The women acquaintances I had along the way changed, well…they didn’t, but I did. When I wore the same face for everyone, some of those women resonated deeper with my authentic self and I did the same with them. I found a few like-minded women without actually going out and searching for them. We sort of simply found each other.

Amazing how that happened once I opened and experienced my own truth. It took me to look at myself and figure out who I am before I could open myself to others.

I know this might sound like psychic silly stuff, but honestly it took years of inner growth before I could look in the mirror, understand and like the person who was staring back. When that finally happened, it changed something, a perception.

I didn’t know the first thing about how to maintain a friendship…how many times do we connect, what are the important things worth remembering, what things matter to her and should they matter to me, etc.? All I knew was what mattered to me, so I went with that…I know, it probably all sounds like common sense, right? But, it wasn’t common for me; I had to think about it.

I became the kind of woman that I wanted to find in a friend.



My closest girlfriend focuses only on the positive aspects of anything, never gossips – although she may ask for an opinion on something that’s more than a rumor, she always has my back and my trust, she supports what I do (my career) even though she doesn’t normally read the kind of genre I write – she reads my work, she is available whenever I call (which isn’t too often because I honor her time), and more than anything, she listens…when no one else does, she cares enough to listen and respond. I can tell her anything and I know it is safe with her. She loves me as a kindred spirit, unconditionally.

And I am to her, as she is to me; a cherished friend.

So…do you have a close girlfriend, someone you’re comfortable with as your authentic self? And if so, how would you describe your relationship with her?

Kay Dee Royal

Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Seven Year Switch cover


Could you make the switch from dutiful, submissive wife Queen Bee wielding a paddle? Sure you can!

Sonja Winters was enjoying the good life with a great job and being married to the man of her dreams. As she prepared to celebrate their seven year anniversary she came across a secret that her husband had been keeping from her that would alter the course of their marriage forever.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Relationships, Characters, and Love Triangles ... Oh My!

Relationships can shape and define people. They can also define our characters. Imagine if Bella married Jacob? Or if Juliet had no interest in Romeo? Or if Allie decided not to visit Noah before her almost-wedding? Not only would the plot twist in a completely different direction, but our views of those leading ladies would be quite different (how many Jacob fans would be happy? Lol).

It's not just the main character's choice in romance, but also the subtler points in life. Does the character's relationship with their parents play a roll in how they view the world? Dose their boss make them insistent to react to situations? Does a childhood bully haunt their nightmares?  Do dead siblings keep them thirsty for revenge?

See how these relationships quickly become the driving forces for character motivation? Who your characters know and how they relate to them will mold your character and the story, just like in real life.

Authors have to take time to consider their characters relationships and decide which ones are vital to the story. An old friend from grade school, for example, may or may not be important.

Thankfully, character relationships are not one-hundred percent like real life. We authors have the ability throw a curve-ball here and there, and maybe have a tiny influence (aka begging) over our stubborn characters' decisions.

Hey, readers! Since February is the month for L-O-V-E, let's hear some more famous love triangles. What's your favorite? Mine is Elizabeth, Will, and Captain Jack Sparrow. ;-)

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Muse garners 18 P&E top ten awards

The votes are tallied and MuseItUp garnered 18 top ten awards:




1-Romance Novel category
SANTA IS A LADY 5TH SPOT

Sci-fi Novel category
2-THE FIREBORN CHRONICLES: RESONANCES 4th spot

Erotica Novel category
3- THE ENCHANTED BATHROOM: 8TH spot

Mystery Novel category
4- RESURRECTION GARDEN 9TH SPOT
5- GROUNDS FOR MURDER 10TH SPOT

Children's category
6- THE HALLOWEEN DINO TRIP 7TH

Young Adult category
7- FALLON O’REILLY AND THE ICE QUEEN’S LAIR 2ND
8- THE HALLOWEEN DINO TRIP 10TH

Short Story Horror category
9- WORLD OF ASH 6TH

Short Story Sci-fi category
10- WORLD OF ASH 6TH

Short Story Romance category
11- THE OAK KING’S DAUGHTER 10TH

Bookart category
12- MURDER IS A FAMILY BUSINESS 7TH
13- GHOSTLY PASSIONS 10TH

Book Editor category
14- KAREN MCGRATH 3RD
15- LEA SCHIZAS 7TH

Cover artist category
16- DELILAH K. STEPHANS 3RD

e-book publisher
17- MUSEITUP PUBLISHING 2ND

Bookstore category
18- MUSEITUP PUBLISHING BOOKSTORE 2ND

AWARDS FOR APOLLO’S LYRE AND THE MUSE ONLINE WRITERS CONFERENCE

Fiction zine category
APOLLO’S LYRE 9TH

Poetry zine category
APOLLO’S LYRE 4TH

Writers Workshop category
THE MUSE ONLINE WRITERS CONFERENCE 2ND

Writer's info category
THE MUSE ONLINE WRITERS CONFERENCE 6TH

Thank you to all who voted for us. We are very grateful.