Friday, October 9, 2015

Friday Frolics: Role Playing

Happy Friday.

By now I think it's obvious I'm still a newbie to our genre. Still learning the terms, the style, and the voices. More importantly, I'm learning there's more behind this genre and the authors than I ever considered.

So let's get talking...What important?...where does?...role playing fit in your stories.

LOL! Ah Chris. I can just see you blushing profusely.

Romantic and erotic writing IS role play! But in the context of a story, it truly depends on the character and the situation. Characters role playing presents a wonderful opportunity for word play and generating excitement in characters who may otherwise be a bit vanilla. It shows another dimension of both the person and the relationship. It can also be an opportunity to show trust between the partners depending on how kinky the role play becomes.

I think there is a fine line when writing a role play scene between a plausible situation and a ridiculously unbelievable scenario. The characters should check in with each other either during or after the session is over. If there is some kind of bondage or authoritarian role play, make sure to have a safe word for the characters to use.

Is role play necessary for a story? No, but it's a great way to explore limits and add a bit of spice to the story!

I'm not sure if this is the right response to your question, but role playing...

As a writer having to step into the role of the other sex can be stressful at times. This is where friends come into play, where I can ask them questions to find out how they would react to different situations compared to what "I thought" the reaction would be.

In the act of sex, it's not always the man who takes charge, so having a different perspective from a woman's POV helps me sketch my characters thoroughly. And not only in the bedroom scenes...

Besides the physical characteristics of a man, I have been surprised to also discover a lot of similarities in women.

Role playing as an author writing from the opposite sex's perspective is challenging yet very satisfying, discovering a deeper understanding of this other genre.

How does role playing fit into writing? I guess you could say it's the same as writing about your fantasy. As for its importance or where does it fit into our stories? Personally, role play is very important. You can only imagine so much before you have to "see" it in action yourself. It helps a writer get the positions right (among other things, toys, BDSM and so on). I've heard of some positions that boggles my mind...and between you and me...I'd end up in the hospital if I did some of them. I just cannot bend in those directions (nope, I'm not a cheerleader). Role playing gives the writer a visual into what they're writing. Is it possible to wrap your legs around his waist and arms around his neck at the same time? What about from the rear and side position, is it still possible? How does that chair and the sofa come into play? And let's not forget the ottoman...does it really NOT move with all the hard get what I'm saying. *chuckles* Or the washer and dryer action. Have you tried either? I haven't, so until that's been personally explored I won't write a scene on it. Although...I could use my friend and her mate...but...yeah, that might get a little awkward. How about the kitchen counters? I'm gonna say (haven't tried it myself either) that depends on your mate's height as to if it's possible...and safely.

Now there is also the role play that come naturally to and with couples. My aunt and uncle swore by role play (yeah, I know too much info) and it kept their relationship strong and going until she passed away. However, I wouldn't advise anyone to play could end up hitting the wall and that wouldn't be fun. Hey, my uncle did and my aunt couldn't stop laughing. And when she says I'm ticklish...listen! Once she starts laughing it's all over. So, for me role play is used and often. Not just for research either mind you, it livens things up and keeps it interesting.

Being a role allows me to walk outside of myself. I'm talking writer not anything else. I'm pretty cookie-cutter safe LOL. Writing I need a comfort zone which my own identity doesn't offer me because my HOT writing is outside my normal being. It's a mental thing. It's still me, but no one knows. I'm not caught in my real life and its expectations.

As for bringing it to my characters...possibility.  Personally? Not sure I'm that daring.

Thank you for dropping over, we appreciate it. Have a fun weekend and hope to you see next week.

Remember, if you have a question or anything you want us to muse about just drop me a line at

Keep Frolicking

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

She Wants/He Wants: Why is sex scary?

We all want it. We’re pretty sure how, when, where, and why we want it. So how come we’re not talking the same ‘it’?

Forget different planets, it’s all about the male and female minds and fun-bits.  We all have them and they want what they want.


I want a 'together time', an 'alone time just you and me'...but his eyes are glued to the set.

I contemplate unplugging the bloody wire but instead I call up my BFF and we go on and on and on how our men don't appreciate us.

I want an hour or so of cuddling time, hugging time, not 'Honey, did you order the pizza cos the guys are coming over to watch the game.'

I. Just. Want. Some. Together. Time.

Whenever he hears those words he misinterprets them to "It's that time of month, right? You're over emotional."

I want to give up at times...but then I'd have to start all over again and try to break in another beefhead. Maybe I just need a geekhead.


I want to watch the big game…she wants sex.

It’s the night of the big online tournament…she wants to maaake loooove.

It’s three a.m., I might have drank a little more than I should have at the bachelor party…she wants to know if the strippers looked better naked than she does.

I’m working the dayshift, she’s working the nightshift, and I’m heading into a double shift…we need to “connect” because we don’t see enough of each other.

At any point I say…not right now, later, uhm sorry but Mr. Fun’s tired…I’ll be lucky to ever have sex again.

See you next week when once again, we’ll be peeking into…She Wants/He Wants

Monday, October 5, 2015

Mistress Musella: Why is Sex scary?

Welcome to my column where I'll offer my own interpretations to questions asked in our Hot blog. I am not here to counsel, advise, nor hold hands, but merely to entertain you.

Why is sex scary?

It’s about losing control. Giving control of oneself over to another. Being laid bare both physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Sex does not follow a timetable. It answers to nothing but the release. The climax of sex equals the runner’s high; the meditator’s tranquility; the royal flush to a poker player. It is the heady rush of letting go.

How can that be scary?

One must know oneself completely and intimately. Be prepared to share all that is you with another. And accept another’s total being.

Sex is pleasure.

Sex is giving in. Handing yourself over to that which sends your body rising and falling over the boundaries of stimulation.

Does sex include ‘love’? In some instances...yes. In those situations where it doesn’t, that perhaps may be the scariest because as stated above, you are allowing yourself to be invaded physically, emotionally, and spiritually. How you deal with these will ease the ‘scary’ part.

Do you dare give yourself over to Mistress Musella and her MuseItHOT family? I hope so because we have lots in store for you.